You're Never Too Old to Look Great

I’m officially down 19.2 pounds at Weight Watchers. This summer’s vacations have definitely discombobulated me. Ironically, I actually lost weight while on the vacations, but re-entry into home life always triggers that mechanism inside me that thinks food will make me feel better. But… I’m still losing (albeit slowly), so that’s good.

I’ve decided I need to get a little more serious about my exercise regimen. In addition to adding two weight-lifting days to my weekly schedule, I’m also planning to increase my running plan. I replaced my worn-out sneakers with Asics Gel Nimbus running shoes (on zappos.com) and joined Map My Run to plot some outdoor routes for variety and challenge.

The shoes arrived at about the same time as this cold/allergy/whatever-it-is, so I’ve yet to try them out, and I’m chomping at the bit to give them a whirl.

Vacation photos are a cruel reminder that while I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, I am not finished yet. In fact, 10 more pounds may not cut it.

My immediate goal is to get my 20-lb. star from Estelle at the next WW meeting. Following that milestone, another 10-lb. drop will take me to my formal “goal,” and I will need to decide at that point if I want to stay put or keep going.

I’m afraid I won’t be able to lose more than 10 pounds, so, rather than fail, I set my sights low. I just can’t visualize being that thin again. Moms aren’t supposed to be thin and sexy, right? If I feel too sexy, maybe I’ll act inappropriately or want to dress like girls half my age. I’m damned to these matronly tankinis now, aren’t I? Shouldn’t my body match?

Ugh… stuck in the muck… how do I get rid of these pesky beliefs?

Week 14 Update

Wow - it's been awhile since I've posted here. I guess you might infer that I've fallen off the wagon, but no, it's not true.

Officially, at Weight Watchers, I am down 18.4 pounds. Unofficially, since I lost a tiny bit before I began the program and I weigh myself nude first thing in the morning, I've lost 20.

Yay, me.

I can tell that my habits have truly changed. Eating better and exercising has become a subconscious thing that just happens every day, whether I intend it or not. Of course, I know for sure that I'm on the edge of a slippery slope, and one false move could send me tumbling down the mountain, quickly and painfully.

I'm convinced that losing weight is really just a mindset. I am not "thinking" fat anymore. I see myself thin. And I am getting thin.

I bought new jeans last month in a smaller size, and this week I had to throw them in a hot dryer to shrink them up to fit. Imagine that.

I have noticed, though, that my body remains untoned, despite my regular running schedule. I've decided to add in (to start) two days a week of weight-lifting to increase my muscle mass and tone my loose parts. I'm a little concerned that it might affect my weight loss efforts, at least in the beginning, but I think it's necessary in order to achieve the body I want to have.

I am going to Mexico in a couple of weeks with my best girlfriend. I already bought two bathing suits, and I think I look pretty damn good in them, considering I felt like a cow in March.

I still hope to reach my goal in September, just in time to perform with the Washington Redskins Cheerleader Alumnae at the Redskins vs. Rams half-time show.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

As stressed as he makes me feel, that's how great I'm going to look!